Today, you’ll uncover the key to keeping your color as a Mom

Flamingo parents lose their pink when they have young chicks. This is due to feeding their young “crop milk”, a food they feed make for their babies.

They give the nutrients from their food, which is how they get their color. *Fun fact flamingo’s get their pink from the food they eat.

They put their children first so much so that they quite literally lose their color, in another sense, they lose themselves.

Can you relate to that?

Most mothers relate to figuratively losing their color. It is very common (and let’s be honest, incredibly easy) to lose ourselves in motherhood. There is nothing wrong with diving into motherhood with a passion and endless love. It is not bad to give our all to our children, it is actually how God designed us, right?

You love your children so darn much that you lose yourself in mothering them, and in return you lose your color.

Everyone has their own hue, their own color and spark. But then you are given the gift of parenting and are lost in the sauce of their childhood.

Something to remember though is their childhood is your motherhood. These days and moments you can never get back. We are unable to relive them, but you can regain your color.

Let’s be honest though, while in the midst of losing your color or the feeling of self, it is heartbreaking and draining. It feels as if you are gone, all you are is a snack machine.

There are so many ways to look at it. Some mothers may look at it and say “hey later I’ll just get my color back when the kids are older.” Others may want to keep some of that spark alive and fight to keep their color as vibrant as it once was, while some might find themselves at a halfway point.

I think a good halfway point is to see that maybe your color changes, to edit yourself, instead of losing yourself. Become a whole new color and let that color shine through you!

Feeling lost in motherhood

At some point in the journey that is parenting I think every mother has felt lost, inadequate, and the weight of the role given to us on their shoulders.

Especially in today’s day and age. Social media brings an endless barrage of influencers trying to show you what their version of motherhood is. What color they have, then you reflect on yourself and are often left upset and ashamed.

It is easy to feel lost in the tantrums, the constant snacks, or getting water. The never ending bombardment for your time, you to do something, you do be something for them. Little kids need A LOT. I get it. They are on the go and they need you.

Which is okay since there is no mother like you, however. There is no color like your own, even if it is fading, and even though you feel like you are diminishing in your role of raising these children, God has intended this season to happen.

So we can be upset with the fact that we’re giving so much to others while losing bits of ourselves. Or we can make a conscious effort this is a role the Lord has given us, there is joy to be found.

And we can discover the new pieces of the world that our children have opened the door to.

Lost your color? Let’s get it back!

Obviously this is why you’re here you’re searching to see if others have felt like this and how they got out of it. You are not alone, so now let’s talk about to get out of this funk and get your color back!

Community

When you find yourself in the midst of the long days of little kids it can help to find others in the same boat.

Finding a mom group, a group of friends, a community of some sort. Social media can create such a beautiful space for community to be built, church is a great idea to find like minded people in similar situations as you, Facebook often has mother groups for local areas as well.

If you can’t find one maybe make one. See if a friend wants to start a play group with you and meet at the park once a week.

There is an old saying that it takes a village to raise kids. I believe it takes a village to raise a mother up. We need people to help and lean on. This will lead to a better you and therefore a better mom.

You don’t have to be a super mom all alone, it is okay to need and to accept help.

Don’t compare

While being online can be so helpul to link up with others and make a space for community, it is important to remember to not compare yourself to others. Truly a huge factor in getting that light back is to not compare yourself.

When having a rough day or night, it’s easy to sit back and say “Well Bonnie next door makes this look easy”. Or go to a playdate at someone’s house and their house is cleaner than yours and you feel guilty.

It is in the Bible to not compare yourself.

But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.

Galatians 6:4-5

The Lord does NOT want us to sit back and compare ourselves, that allows anxiety, and doubt to creep into our hearts. None of which are of God.

When you are comparing yourself to others, or looking at something someone else has that you would enjoy, stop and pray for them. Allow something that takes you away from your Lord, actually bring you closer.

Activities

Maybe there is an activity that you love to do, finding sometime to do that can help.

Now I know, finding the time to do something for yourself is SO hard in this season. It is crucial though. To be the best you, you must rest your mind and body.

You must find joy. If you are truly not in a space where you can do something for you, give it 4 weeks and reevaluate where you could fit it in. With littles a ton changes in a month.

I LOVE knitting, puzzles, reading and crafting. When our kids go to bed you can bet I am doing one of those activities (or trying too lol). But when we have a new baby that sleeps in our room, I do not get those opportunities. Our babies love to be near me. They’re not sleeping long stretches yet. So that piece of myself.

When I don’t get that hour for myself I can feel my color retreating. I can feel myself not being able to refill my cup.

Though, 4th kid deep, I know that around 6 months they will have some sort of bedtime routine and will most likely give me 30-90 minutes of me time.

Knowing that there will be a time again for activities can help give you a finish line.

Pray

Pray, pray, pray. Nothing is more important than this. God wants to help us! He wants to meet us in the season that we are in.

Cry out to him in time of need for guidance, comfort, joy, to lean on Him.

Recently with my 4 kids, 5 and under I was in the trenches, no sleeping, no time for me but I prayed for the Lord to help me fill up my cup in different ways.

He showed up hardcore. He knew I needed color in these times when I have little time to myself. He inspired me to make a point to have a dance party every day.

Watching my kids spin and dance with me, while I hold them and sing from the heart I can fill it nourish my soul. The Lord said you have no space without little people, so I will help you fill your cup with them.

Pray to Him when you need help, when you saw His hand in your day, when you’re cracking under the pressure of keeping your cool when your 2 year old is on their 10th trantrum in 90 minutes.

He will meet you there with grace and guidance.

Notice the good you’ve done

Making space for you to see the things you’ve done that are showing up for your kids. I know that I have rocked each of my kids for hours. Day or night, I have sat sang lullabies and rocked my kids.

Sit on the floor and play with them, hear their laughter. Allow the good you have done to add a sparkle back into your day.

Every night after we pray we share the happiest part of the day, at the end of the day remind yourself of what you’ve done for them. The spaces where you showed up. That you gave the all to your kids.

Don’t allow the bad days drain your color so quickly. See the good and allow it to hold more space in your soul making no space for the negative.

Drown in gratitude

Find the joy in little things, I heard a song recently that spoke about how there is not enough time to go over every blessing that He has given us.

I sat there and was in such agreeance. I can be thankful for literally everything in my house. Every floorboard, every cup, every spoon, every little bit of it. I am so thankful for every hair on my kids head, every toy that the Lord has placed in our life, every second there is air in their lungs, there is endless blessings and it is overwhelming.

Allow yourself to be overwhelmed in the blessings and not to be overwhelmed with the lack of color. When you feel the overwhelm, the over stimulation begin make a conscious effort to trade that negative thought for a positive one. Soon enough you’ll see the shift in mindset.

I understand that is easier said then done. I am 4 kids deep. I did not have this mentality with my first or even my second, my fourth is really where I am trying to stay connected in my motherhood and not lose myself in the fleeting yet exhausting season.

Couple filling your cup with kid things

Maybe some of these activities that fill your cup can be coupled with the things are great for your kids.

Get fresh air and get your feet in the grass. Go outside and get some vitamin D on your skin, take walk, take them to a park, go to the store and window shop. There are great ways to get out of the house and get their energy out and for you to also feel refreshed.

You are worth caring about while you care for your children.

Maybe you love to cook, try to have them help you cook.

Having a clean home could cause you joy, give the kids a wash clothe and make a game of washing down the cabinets while you tackle the dishes.

Have a special treat day, Monday you go to the park and see friends and then on the way home you get yourself some Starbucks and the kids can have a pup cup.

Don’t be discouraged if they have an outbursst and a break down in public. People understand and if they don’t then their opinion isn’t worth being worried about. Kids have trantrums and they’re learning how to behave in public. Do not stop taking them out. Correct them calmly that this is not how we act and leave.

Then you can try again next week.

Keeping your sense of self in motherhood

You might lose yourself in motherhood, but you will regain your energy in time. As your beautiful blessings grow more and more independent, self-sufficient, and they will be able yo fill their own cup more.

You will be able to fill yours, but in this season of endless need and taking care of them remember you can not pour from an empty bucket. There is a hope in parenting, if you are struggling reach out to others. You are not a burden. You are beautiful.

Burn out is real and awful. I have experienced it and allowed the enemy to feed me lies I beleived. I am here to tell you, you ARE a good mother, you ARE capable of making it through these days, you ARE going to get your color back. I pray that every mother feels the Lord life them up and know they are doing exactly what He wants you to do.

Reach out to others, get outside, pray, or find something that fills your bucket. If you are feeling lost or like you are going to crack, know you are not alone and this too shall pass.

The mind is a dangerous place and will make you doubt yourself and life, but the Lord is stronger then the mind and can help you get out of those awful places.

Take a step back, look at the grand scheme. This is a fraction of life. You will be okay! Tell yourself that out loud at least once a day.