8 Ways To have Patience with your Kids
Losing patience as a mom happens to the best us. Some days are amazing, things go smooth and you can laugh off the spills and attitude. Others you melt down with their melt downs or the frequent requests for water, a snack, etc.
Motherhood is a paradox: the deepest joy you will ever feel, and the hardest work you will ever do. While losing patience doesn’t make you a bad mom, it probably isn’t the mom you envisioned that you would be. Having the tools to ground yourself can help respond with gentleness and love instead of frustration.
This post is all about how to stop losing patience as a mom- not through guilt but through grace. These 8 practical, soul-soothing habits will help you slow down, reconnect, and show up for your family with peace
Make Room for Connection:
Many times when we’re losing patience as moms, it’s because our kids are craving connection. Their clinginess, their big behaviors, even their tantrums are often just a loud way of saying: “I need you.”
When you pause and carve out intentional one-on-one time—even ten minutes—it resets both of you. Read a book, take a walk, or let them help with dinner. These small moments build bridges that make patience easier to keep.
2. Take Time for You:
You can not give to others if you do not give to yourself. Momma, do not feel bad about filling your bucket before you start pouring into others. There is nothing to feel guilty about when you give yourself time and some self love.
You’re far more likely to lose patience as a mom when your own cup is empty. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When you care for yourself, you show your children what patience, kindness, and respect look like in action.
Maybe for you it’s journaling, prayer, a book before bed, or a quiet walk around the block. For me, it’s puzzles and late-night reading after the house quiets. Little rituals like that remind us that we’re more than just moms on duty 24/7—we’re people who need refueling too
Frey and I cooking dinner
3. Know your Stressors:
Oh boy, some days the patience slips away quickest when we’re overstimulated. Pay attention to what pushes your limits. Is it constant noise? Endless clutter? Being late?
For me, a ton of kids screaming overstimulates me (not infants for some reason, but screaming from 18 months on just overrides my brain). Of course, now screaming is a part of parenting. Kids yell and throw fits. It is not wrong, it is how they express things and how they show their feelings.
Acknowledging your triggers doesn’t make you weak. It makes you wise. Once you know what sends you over the edge, you can create coping strategies for those moments instead of spiraling into guilt.
Finding the things that irritate you, can help you make a plan and find the tools to keep your patience.
4. Take a Break:
As Moms we often convince ourselves that we do not need or deserve breaks. That is the farthest thing from the truth. When you are a mom you are on call 24/7 and its often overlooked. When you start to feel your patience wane away take a deep breath and take a break.
Sometimes the most loving thing you cando is to step away for a moment. We do not judge someone for taking their mandatory 30 minute break at work-why not extend the same grace to ourselves?
Mom holding babies hand
5. Have a Reset Routine:
Having a bad morning does not mean you had a bad day. One of the most powerful ways to stop losing patience as a mom is set up some reset routines.
One of my reset routines is getting Starbucks, if we are having a tough go of it we go get a drink and some pup cups and then try again. By doing this we reset our feelings and then we just start again.
It has changed so much of how I see parenting. Yes things can be stressful but we can just reset it, go back to square one, and start again. I love it. It has helped me salvage so many days. It wasn’t a bad day just a tough moment and we reset and kept going!
6. Change Locations:
Sometimes patience is waiting in a different room, sitting on your front porch, or somewhere else. Changing the scene can change the mood.
Maybe if you are at home, go to the park. Run to the grocery store. If the kitchen feels tense, move to the living room and build a fort. If everyone is restless and cranky more to the backyard.
Cabin fever is a real thing, and my kids definitely get it. And you don’t even have to leave your house to change locations. If you are having a lot of fits in the living room try moving to the kitchen and making some cookies.
7. Remember the Season:
So this one can double as the weather season and also the season of life. We have some more meltdowns in the winter than any other season, I am sure that it is because we do not play outside as much. Colorado winters get cold! And I get an influx of cases at work so I have to work a tad bit more.
In winter, I just prepare myself that we may need more resets, and that we will be having some extra big feeling because we are not getting a ton of vitamin D or playing outside and getting energy out.
Also, remember that this is just a season of life. Your kids will not throw fits forever, they will not make these messes all the time. They do grow up, and this is just a passing season.
The phrase the days are long but the years are short is SO SO real. I try to embrace that while my kids need my attention ALL the time, and definitely throw some fits. This will pass and I know I will miss them being so little. I will miss the mess and miss the sound of their little feet scampering around and being as busy as can be.
White Flowers
8. Journal, Write down good memories:
It can be so fulfilling and relaxing to write down the things that do go well with your kiddos. It is easy to get caught up in the negative, especially if the negative is really loud (literally, fits are not quiet). But when we take the time to see the good, we will be able to see the good more.
Seeing the good in parenting will help us through the bad parts of parenting. I love sitting down at the end of the day and just putting down our day on paper and then looking back on it a year later helps me notice that oh boy that was a fun season.
At the end of the day, jot down one sweet memory, one funny phrase, or one moment you want to remember. Looking back over those pages reminds you that motherhood is made up of so much more than the hard parts.
Final Thoughts:
This post was all about finding ways to stop losing your patience as a mom.
Losing patience as a mom is normal—but it doesn’t have to define you. With a few tools in your pocket, you can reset, refill, and try again tomorrow.
Remember: you don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present. Your kids don’t need a mom who never loses patience—they need a mom who loves them enough to keep showing up, even after a hard day.
So breathe deep. Offer yourself grace. And know this truth: you’ve got this, mama. Learning and trying different ways to get and keep patience is hard. It requires practice and trial and error.
If you have a bad day do not fret. Go to bed, reset and try again. We have been blessed with more days than just one. We can just start again in the morning and try to be the best you can be. Kids are forgiving and just love you.
So don’t worry, if you have a bad day with little to no patience but try the next day, you will get better. It may be hard to see in the moment, but in a couple months you will be able to look back and say “Hey! I tried to gain patience and a reset routine and I did it”
You totally got this Momma!!! Keep your head up, you’re doing amazing.